Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Young Adult Friction


So I back in this old place again, the place where I’ve spent more than hundred thousand nights. It feels so good now, like a simple reunion. I wish I have a decent table for doing computer or paper works, but the desk have moved since ten years ago because it only collected dust. As a replacement, more and more shelves were inserted here. The book collection is obviously growing and I feel happy thinking of it.
I re-read again my favorite books. A bit of guilty feeling is creeping inside since I know that there are still stacks of books that I haven’t finished reading. But then I can’t help it. I long to be glued to a book, and with too many books published these days, it is hard to find one that sticks to hands.
Today I decided to turn again the pages of Summer Sister by Judy Blume. And yes, in sitting of 3 hours, I have re-read one third of it. I stop now, I was trying to catch my breath when Vix, the main character of the book, is having her seventeenth birthday bash. She celebrated it in the beach, along with Caitlin, her bestfriend, or so-called summer sister, and their boyfriends. Warning, spoiler.
They were young, free, reckless and glowing. I can feel the sensation of skin against skin and the overflowing of sunshine. The heart that might skip a beat and the intention to go all the way, without hesitation. Ah, when did I have that kind of sensation? Was it a long time a go? Do I still remember? I went dizzy.
But then I remember the feeling I have had when I was reading this part for the first time. Although I was not a teenager, but I was so envied by the adventures. I remember, I made a mental note not to grow old very soon and gulp the sensation again.
This time I also made a mental note, clearly written with a mixed opinion from my brain, that this is only a young adult fiction. This only happens in young adult life or fiction. Might be strange, might be overwhelming, but this time let me go for a real thing.


 













"...youre taking toffee with your vicodin
something sweet to forget about him..."
Young Adult Friction - Pains Being Pure at Heart

Friday, April 23, 2010

Summer Rain


I flied over thousand miles and skipped spring. I said goodbye to less than 5 degrees temperature with cool breeze and trace of snow then just daydreaming about blooming magnolia. Where I am now, it is 100% summer with over 30 degrees and sticky air. As an addition, sometimes during the day, rain falls like the earth is having shower to wash away the dirtiest dirt. Great, summer rain. No, it’s not summer rain, it’s just rain, typical tropical rain. 

That sort of rain reminds me of summer rain last year. Ah, that was truly a summer rain. Big raindrops, a bit cold and lasted all day. I enjoyed it from the big windows of my room, watching the water poured quickly, a bit disappointed because I had to cancelled a lot of my plans. Though I had trustable umbrella, raincoat and waterproof boots, but some of the activities have to be let go.  

Strangely somehow, I cherished it, the rainy summer days. And if I was too tired to go anywhere I silently wish it was raining. I made a cup of hot chocolate, add few baileys and tuned in to my ‘rain’ play list. The list contains ‘Rainy days and Mondays’ of Carpenters, ‘When I’m thinking about you’ of the Sundays, ‘Gravity’ of Bic Runga, randomly jazzy tunes I downloaded, and many more. Seduced by the chilly weather, the stomach always is more active. Luckily, the excellent chef was next door. He managed to serve suitable food for rainy days, like steamboat, green curry paste, and various soups that I don’t know the name but remember the yummy taste very well.

It’s funny how I remember summer days by the pouring rain. Of course I tried not too waste the chance to have fun under the sun. Many times during week days we went to the outdoor swimming pool and jumped around using the trampoline or had picnics in the park. In week ends we had barbeque parties by the lake and played in the water. I had a two days escapade and collapsed because it was steaming hot in the east Europe. And my favorite part is, sailing in the snaky rivers of Sneek. Oh, what a summer!

But still it’s funny how now I reminisce summer by rainy days where I did nothing but doing activities in my room. I guess it is the nature of me, don’t you think so? Despite all the excitement, I usually remember the most tough times and how I survive them, staying alive, healthy and happy. Sometimes it is hellish or depressing, and sometimes the constant boredom what kills me. But Hole said Live Through This and I believe that. Often the not-so-good moments become the bad memories sector of my brain and are erased unconsciously. Then, of course, the great thing stays, just like antibody. A remedy inside of me, give me verve and strength to carry on. To live through any moments, no matter worse or unbearable. Because there is sunshine after the rain, or even the rain it self is such a beautiful moment of our life.