Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Lamsenia (again)


I wrote too much about Lamsenia in this blog. Because, Lamsenia has always been my sanctuary. After I left Banda Aceh, couple of times I had this dream about Lamsenia. It often slips between my sleeps whenever I feel like diving into the lowest point of life. I rarely had the dream these recent days, but I guess I don’t mind to have a screening in my head in the near future.

I don’t remember all my dreams about Lamsenia precisely, but there was one that I remember the details. This one appeared during a tough time of my master thesis in Netherlands. It was winter.
As usual, the dream started out quiet and slow. The early scene was dark, then after a while there was a dim light. The dominant color was greenish, very similar with the actual Lamsenia. Through out the dream, Lamsenia was captured with a grey vignette and a thick silence in the background.
I guess it was early morning of Lamsenia, I was in my overworn red t-shirt with Palm Beach written across chest. I broke the silence while running towards the creek of Sarah river, shouting “Abaaaahhhh!” in high pitch voice and high in endorphin.
Of course, Abah was there, sitting quietly on the edge of a giant rock. Looking cool in his scarf and shorts. He looked at me and smile. We are always happy to see each other, for no reason at all. I sat beside him and interrupted his fishing session. We chatted a little and cracked together with inside jokes immersed in local dialect. He was a piece of home in this northest part of Sumatra island.

Spontaneously I jumped into the water. A failed attempt to create a massive splash but I plunged into the lake happily. The water felt a bit cold, sunrise has not shared enough heat yet. But I felt nothing but warm, and content. I did several duck dives until tired, then decided to do my favorite activity ever: swimming on my back. I swam backward while staring at the sky, the beautiful rocks and a thin smile of Abah. I swam in circle ‘till I had nothing to think about, to fear and nothing was important but me soaking in the serenity of nature.
I heard Abah called me, he finally catched some fish. I was all hungry and jumped out of the water following him to prepare grilled fish. In the dream, I watched the girl in wet red t-shirt climbed on the rock then walked jumpily beside Abah. Both had glowing smiles and illuminated faces by the golden ray of morning sun.

I woke up with a strange feeling in my heart. It felt like I had gone through a deep meditation as if I was trying to reach a bliss that buried under my skin. A spot inside that contains a positive vibrant energy. A gentle reminder, that I know life has been tough, but this lucid dream of Lamsenia always manages to convince me that everything is gonna be alright.

Monday, January 28, 2013

not-so-fun part of nyc life

this got nothing to do with nyc, but this happens in nyc.

Somehow I miss the secure feeling of living in Kebon Sirih. How I love my fave spot, my corner and every inch of my room. My room to grow. I miss the time when I can always depend on Tanti and Niken and whatever we’re going to do in the house.
I miss those time when I have no burden on my shoulders, nothing but simply enjoying, exploring the city. Why oh why, recently life seems to be harsh at me. It seems that every turns bring surprise. Not always a terrible one. But not always the good one.
I miss the time when I used to sit or walk or sleep beside Niken. Because with her present, there’s always this serenity in the air. That I know there’s a sincere person who will always lend her helpful hands without hesitation and nothing to expect in return.
I miss the time when I can hide behind Lioni, knowing that her big body and bold personality protect me really well. That she always speaks the truth, bitch-slaps us in the face for our own good. That is the fact that she has huge heart and only wants the best thing happens to us.
I miss the time whenever I can drag Mindang to do anything, and anything we did was alway fun, with laughters as rewards. That this world is so much fun to explore, and there’s always happiness in every corner we seek.
Hhh... I miss the time whenever the four, or rather ten of us are together. That I know I have all the best people on earth to complete my life. That I know we can always count on each other, have a good time together and face the world not so alone.