Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
It is hard not to be jealous of Candy Dulfer. I like her song, For the Love of You and imagine someone's physically ordinary behind this genius song. Beauty and brain would be too much for one girl, no?
But yesterday, I got the opportunity to watch her on stage. She showed up in her sexy white dress that wiggled every time she moved, which was very often. How can someone not jealous of her? She is amazingly beautiful, with her blonde Farah Fawcett hairstyle, and her mischief smile. Her tanned skin was glowing and her hip was flowing along with her music. She clapped her hands in the air and asked the audience to dance. How could anyone say no? Her funky music was groovy, passionate and full of energy.
And when she blew the sax, oh my God, for me that's when she reveals the most of her sex appeal. I always consider someone who can play musical instruments is attractive. And Candy does it in a very subtle way. Smooth, sharp and sexy. There goes the word again. Sorry, I just can’t help it.
Sometimes she came near the microphone to sing several lines. I don't know, is it just me who was so thrilled with her image, or she has a funky voice character? I could not think twice, there she was, asking us to sing along with her.
What a night. Seeing an almost perfect image of a girl. While today I was starring at her photos which were captured by my self, I could not stop thinking. How can a girl be so picturely perfect? And how can anybody else be ordinary? Has someone ever told me about this unfair world?
Uh, no Dita no, you are now in a happiness of all-that-jazz night symptom. It is not the time to be green with envy or being bitchy for other's beauty. So, I tune on to Candy's soothing hits, and sipped my earl grey tea happily. I put on my shades because on sunset time my room usually is too blinding. The sunshine always makes my room warmer and brighter.
Yes sweetie, let people shine, and let them shine on you.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
It’s been a fine day. I woke up late, and enjoyed the free coffee from the hostels vending machine. Considerably, I woke up quite early, because I manage to have a lazy shower and have breakfast down in the white room. The Japanese guy said hi to me, and said he was leaving Antwerp today. I smiled back and wish him good luck in his Euro trip. After that I surfed the free internet and chit chatted with friends. It is always good to exchange unessential news with your dearest persons.
Then I and my travel buddy strolled around the city. The city somewhat reminds me of my hometown and I embraced the feeling home. It has small nice places here and there. The weather was good but turned out to be dull at the end. Ouch. I sheltered under my cyan umbrella but it was raining heavily. We decided to go into a bar with loud 80ies music. He tried the local beer brand, and I ordered something called “Pintcha.”
I was really glad that we stopped at this place and uttered, “Too bad it’s raining today,” he replied with “You always complain.”
I was shocked. I don’t want to be that kind of person. The sentence with a high pitch “No, I’m not!” was on the tip of my tongue, but I kept quiet. He would have been replied with “You always argue,” and arguing is one thing that I’m not good at.
To my defense I murmured “But I hate rain.” He looked at me sharply, “Come on, that’s life.”
Yeah, I hate the he sometimes right, but that’s life. In life, I can not expect sunshine all the time. The weather is changing, the climate is changing, and what could I do except the adaptation? I got sunscreen and shades for shiny days, I got waterproof coat and umbrella for rainy days. What’s next, extra flashlight for super gloomy day? Yes, sometimes there are things you could not change, and the best is equipped our selves with prevention. Or else, move out. And can you imagine the people who are living in this country? Are they moving away? I guess not. They manage to stay in this lovely town. Where it always rains all the time.
I gulped my last pincha and he took me by the hand, “Let’s go.”
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
This end of weekend (how strange it sounds) we went to the park. There was a carnival and a fireworks show by the lake. People stand up and held their head up to the sky. Kids were running around and sometimes plugged their ears with fingers. The photographers set up their tripods and captured the show neatly. And me? I feel like living in one of my dream. The transition between day and night time made everything a bit blurry. But still, I amused my self with the company. Carnival is always about rushing your adrenalin and indulge your sugar level. Couples might love to spoil each others by winning the dolls or watched the town from the top of ferries wheel. Or probably just sit side by side, amongst the crowd watched the bright tones in the sky. Why did people invent this show? Was it inspired by the war? That night I watched the fire in a quiet close distance, and I just realized beside the big bang sound, they made a strange creepy sounds. Well, I know people were there for the visual entertainment, not to spoil their ears. On the contrary it might be damageable.
What do you think? What’s so good about fireworks? The explosion, the color or the shape? The crowd, the lens you have or someone who hold your hand when you watch the last splash?
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
It was a long time ago, but it is still crystal clear in my head. I’ve never been so loved in the correct way and the exact person than this. I was having a fever. The sympthoms were quite common during those days, high fever, sore throat followed up with muscles pain. After got home from the doctor, had a proper meal and drank up the antibiotics, I laid on my bed. I was brwosing through the tv channels while waiting for sleepy eyes. Suddenly he entered my room and sat on the edge of my bed. I have just bought Kenny Loggins albums days ago and the cassette cover was on the floor. He saw it, and recognize one of the song. Then he grabed my classic guitar which is my birthday present from him, and started to pick the strings.
“Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight… Someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight..”
I also sing softly, but before he finished the song, the sleepyhead has taken me over. I woke up a little when he kissed my warm forehead and left the room.
Eventhough I am 15 years older than I was at that time, but I know. No matter how old I grow or how far I go, I will always be that little girl. A girl who deserves a song to sing, a kiss in the forehead and an everlasting wonderful company as him.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I am the eldest amongst the siblings, but too many people think I’m the youngest. I admit that I do act childish and craving for attention, but I’d rather refer it to the only child characteristics. Those people have mistakenly read the lines.
I was the only child for 5, almost 6, years, then came along my brother. I was very exciting at the beginning, imagining I would have someone to play with, rather than dragged the neighbor kids to stay a while. But when the moment came, I started to realize it might take some times for him to be able to play with me. And then the way people showered him with attention get on my nerve. And it was very upsetting me how everybody let him win just because he’s younger than me. Come on man, in school they taught me about justice, but in my childhood reality it was not realistically exist.
After a while, I was more focus on schools. I’ve always been a bit obsessive about this. On the contrary, I didn’t see it from my brother side. He always seemed chill out and didn’t care about grades. He definitely chose to play with his matchbox cars collection rather than fiddling with math book. Of course, this things drove mom crazy ;)
Time flies. It always does. Right now we are standing physically far apart. It was more or less 25 years that I always had him beside me. Well, not literally beside, but most of the time, we stayed under the same roof. Maybe it’s because the miles distance between us, lately I feel that I didn’t do the elder sister role very well. Amongst these years, how well do I know him? We have never had a close conversation about personal things. Well, he met most of my ex and boyfriends, but do I know something about his personal life? Not a single part of it. But how should I know things?
When he got into education trouble, I tried to find him solutions. Was it the best? How can you be so sure? And after I had a quite satisfactory wages, I managed to spare him a little. The shopping days with him were always the best, because we shared something in common in clothes. Although I sometimes doubt everything. Wasn’t it too spoiling?
Or maybe I was just being too hard on him. After all, I just want him to be strong, struggle a lot in life and take everything responsibly. I really want him to stand tall on his beliefs, his passion, his desire or whatever he feels like doing. As long as they are positive. But then I think again, how can I define one is positive and one is not? Can I figure it out through his view?
He’s a grown up now. I believe, or probably trying hard to believe, that he is a man who head his head up high and deserves to be proud of him self. It is common that we (mom and dad and me) want him to score a goal and we’ll be on the front line, cheering up for him. But hey, let’s just not to be hard on our selves again. After all, I just want him to be his self, and, happy. In your utmost comfortable way.
Happy birthday, Dimas.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
I know I must write a lot since I was in a very intense traveling in the past two weeks. I wrote some in my lovely red moleskin journal, but I could not transfer it into digital file. I don’t know why, my self just doesn’t want to do it.
Instead, today I’ve been in a very mellow mood. I am suspicious, well rather convinced then, that it is something to do with my hormonal cycle. It is about time.
And I could not listen to any other song than this.
How I’m loving the opening: I caught in a symmetry of your mind…
I'm caught in the symmetry of your mind
But I'm not happier than you
Did I really see you or was it just a dream
Dreaming that it was seamless
Not a trace of wrong words
That we have spoken
Little did we know
No bigotry no tears shed
Ohh if only
You'd try to be polite
Thinking you were right
Only to find that you're unkind
But ironically you will always be
Belle of The Ball ...at least to me
Yeah, I am convinced that I miss you. But I am protecting my heart so tight, not to have it wounded. Not even bruished. This long distance relationship has never been kind for me. In anyway.