Under the Medicine and Dreaming

I can’t sleep well last night. What do you call it? Insomniac? Well, maybe I am in that state of it right now. This isn’t the first time. I have experienced similar nite before. Most of them were very tiring. Usually I keep on turning my back againt and the wall or vice versa. And I try so hard to keep my eyes closed. But, rarely it happens to me. They call me sleepyhead and I am a little proud of it.

Ah, my sleep weren’t as tight as before. Couple of nites ago I remember, I was sleeping on my bed with the lights and the radio on, then woke up at about 3 am. That edge of nite. And the song played in the radio was always Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen. Along with Dorothy’s words echoed softly in the air,
“... I love him Laurel, I love him... I love him for the man he wants to be and I love him for the man he almost is”
That melodius lyrics and the strange feeling I have in my heart. The slide show of you and shadows of your walk. The voice of your laughters and the distance between us.
And then Mr. Cruise or Mr. Maguire replied,

“You... complete... me...”

I nodded my head off. But last night, without the songs, my eyes were wide awake. I tried to read London Short Stories because the little font and that bloody accent sometimes get me down. I’m under the medicine and still I can’t sleep. While sometimes wo cups of coffee don’t affect me.

Ah, have I had my heart broken again?

She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
She'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away

- Secret Garden (OST Jerry Maguire) – Bruce Springsteen -

A Happy Ending Demanding

For once in my life, I just want to be there.
Right in the heart of children section. I know, a fancy book store, that everytime I look at the back covers of their books, my hand will put it back on the shelves. Yup, I've seen the price tag. Regretfully.
Although I am not that wealthy enough to purchase all of their books (beside, there's no point of doing that), but I can still enjoy the services, can't I?
Because, for once in my life, I just want to be there. Surrounded by colorful books. Sitting on a comfy not too puffy carpet. And in the bliss of enjoying the sound from children running around noises. Taking books one by one from the shelves, put it on my lap and do the aaahhh-ohhhh-ahhhhh (please, do not take this as making out session) while gazing at the illustrations. Hilarious and heartwarming stories, all at once. That will set the stars in my eyes, and paint a full smile in my face.
For once in my life, I just want to be there. With you.

Not a happy ending, though.
I've come to realise. Not every happy ending stories have a heartwarming moral. And not every heartwarming stories have a happy ending.

Ahhh.. don't we all, human, want them both?

Heavy Feet

Now, how can you leave such a beautiful place like this?

Well, is it the only thing to be grateful about? Said sadly, I could not list many things. Maybe that's the reason I have to step my feet again. This time it is not even lighter. My self, my body and my soul are torn apart to pieces. I came to pick up things left, and can not manage to bring it all. You know exactly what part would be left again.

Yup, home is where the heart is.


Well, maybe this is a certificate to let me open an official kissing lesson ;)

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