Showing posts from 2007

That is just the way he is

The best. And he is still is.Today, I texted him, wishing to be home by Friday night, together with him. The ride with him is always fun, accompanied by smooth melody of jazz or acoustic guitar. And stopping by between the trips adds more fun, for he is the real omnivore, can eat every food and magically enjoy them all. He also likes to spend some times on cups of coffee. Hazelnut Latte, his favorite. Or just bottles of mineral water and green tea, stocked up in the dashboard drawer of the vehicle.Catching up stories with him also can be a great thing. I can learn a whole lotta thing from him. He is a professional in his career, have traveled to many countries and read amount of books. No wonder he can throw you million opinions and you would just stare at, overwhelmed. And his witty sense of humor, spice up our conversation, do silly things in the name of fun, and made me burst out in laughter.So, I texted him. Although he is extremely busy, for having his life between cities, but he…

A question you should ask yourself

Am I happy?
And said sadly, I’m not. There you go, tears in my cheeks. How can I be happy? I have this accute syndrome of missing my life in Aceh. And somehow I have this dream of visiting another places. Maybe not only visiting, but trying to adjust my daily life there. I don’t want to live in a skycrapper apartments, where the inhabitants barely meet each other. Instead, I want to live in a small house in Seubon Ayon, where every afternoon I can play with the kids on the blocks.Ouch, how pathetic I am. Am I reaching my dreams? Or am I stumbling behind? What is this path I’m stepping on? It is smooth as it can be, but I’m afraid to slip on it. Am I that happy girl she used to wonder about?Then again, I quoted Allie from Taken:
Allie Keys: When everything in your life is right on track, it's easy to believe that things happen for a reason; it's easy to have faith. But when things start to go wrong then it's very hard to hold on to that faith. It's hard not to wonder who…

Gold in the Air of Summer

So, I’ve been here for days. And I’m sure you want me to be with you. I can see it in your eyes. Those twinkles.And our workload, they are nothing to compare the joy when we share the laughters. Just like old friends who haven’t seeing each others for ages. Or maybe long lost brothers and sisters that used to eat from the same plate or clashed over candies. I didn't know if you wanted to,
when I came to pick you up.
But you didn't even hesitate,
and now you and me are on our way.
I think I've brought everything we need,
so don't look back,
don't think of the other places you should have been

it's a good thing that you came along with me.So, I will be back in town in couple of days. And I’m sure that’s the last thing you want to face. I can see it in your eyes. They can shed a tear even if you don’t want to.
Or let me just be. And please grab your guitar then sing the song for me. And I will keep the promise for you.Gold in the air of summer,
you'll shine like gold …

Innocently violent

They say age is just a number, and the memories proof you are old. And I’m still recalling things you said to me. Or, maybe not said directly, you used your mouth mostly for other activities. In the dim of dawn light, I found my self as a version of teenage high school girl. Or maybe a freshman from college who wake up next to you. Innocence, yet so brave to do mature things. And you are a stranger who wakes up next to me. Tall and strong, yet so fragile when we were this close. We’ve been here for few days, with not much particular things to do. But there’s nothing more I wanted to do with you anyway. Days like this should be put in our past. When we didn’t know each other, and busy with our sticky life. When we were young and hot and live the life with full curiosity. We were not afraid to do things we want to do. We crossed the boundaries and do everything on experimental basis. I believe you were slightly skinnier and my eyes have a lot more twinkles. We probably have the same ski…

Taken from Taken

There was one moment in my life, when I was busy with my bachelor degree final project. I could not go faraway, and decided to stays at home a lot. Then I found a refreshment. Well, kinda of. I watched a lot of movies. And there was this mini series, 7 episodes, about UFO and such things. I’m not into science fiction whatsoever, I’d rather stick to festival film about daily life and absurd love story. But this Steven Spielberg fascinated me, really.It was Taken. And since I saw the mini series, I have this disbelief about ugly green creature with long arms and big black eyes. Probably 7 times two hours shows were all it takes to explain all that out of this world phenomenon. War of the World, another Spielberg movie about UFO, can not even compete Taken movie trailer.But it is not the UFO that I really fond of. It was Allie. The little girl character in Taken, who used to write in her diary about her life. Very innocent, yet so mature to reflect her questionaires and wonder about it a…

Wish You Were Here Is Not Only Written in a Postcards

Pulau Peucang, 20 October 2007Dear Babe,
Have been missing you very much. I’m here, in such a paradise, with 8 boys, and they are nothing compare to you. Uhm, most of them are my old friends, and connecting with them was like opening an old diary. Names, places and memories sometimes pop up in my head.

If I’m not mistaken, we’ve been missing each other recently. I know there will be another session of running away from reality, only time will define. But, surely, I will do that again with you, babe. We are definitely a great team when it comes to the beach. We stuff our backpack with goggles, bikinis, mosquitoes repellent, mineral water, MP3 player + portable speaker, bigframe sunglasses, teabags and of course thousand stories of our rollercoaster life.

You are one of a rare kind that can enjoy the beach exactly the way I do. Some pepole can never enjoy the beach, they say beach is too hot and sticky and nothing challenging about it. Some people can enjoy it too much by div…

That City

Hey, buddy. Sorry for not around, but I know you wouldn’t expect me to be around either. I am away from the city once again, although this time is not that far. But, the good thing is, I am in that city. Yup, THAT CITY! Maybe, you will raise your eyebrow and ask “What city?” and I will smile. That city, babe. The place we’ve ever dreamed of. Because we think the beach and the largest prostitution place will crack us up. And then you might ask again, “Did we have a plan to visit it?” And I will smile again. That means yes. Probably you wouldn’t remember anyway. But on the flight I was thinking, wait a minute; I should be here with you. Yeah, we talked about this city as our next destination while we were on our East trip. That day, I wished so much to have it come true. And it did come true. Only, we arrived in different time. I know you’ve been here on 2004. When I was trapped in our beloved city, which we left later. I can picture you here, busy with the workshop and shop souvenirs f…

Walk on Water

Recently, I found my self grew a fond of something new. Well, it might have been exist for a long time, and I’ve already know it from the Introduction of Oceanography lecture. But when the time is finally arrived, and I eventually met it, eye to eye, I can’t help but falling in love all over.

Sand dune.
It is as beautiful as it is. Stretching in the middle of the strait, connecting blue turquoise water in between and made you feel like walk on water.
Yes, meeting you, eye to eye, and dare you to say the words, would be a walk on water.Another thing is... The sand dune is temporary. It is only available at the time of low tide. Fling mode on. Nothing last forever. And the reality just hit me right there. Even such a beautiful thing like this, will be ripped of from us anyway.The sand dune in you, a walk on water, and then an on and off mode. Reality Bites.Picture of Karimun Jawa Islands.

Homesick, cause I no longer know where home is

I’m totally lost here. Right in the middle of skycrapper jungle. I gotta find my way back to the shore. Whereas my ship is waiting, and it is gonna take me away. Somewhere.Where the sky is blue and every rain has a rainbow at the end. Where people greets me with a warm big smile and a friendly hello. And when the time for party comes, they’ll be all high and cheers, without getting too drunk and ruin the show. We’re gonna be intentionally festive for all day and all night long. I will be invited, and asked for a dance or two, or sing a song or two or just running around with my big fat camera. We will be in my memories, in my memory card, in my hard disk memory capacity or printed and then glued onto my scrapbook.Where I can lay down at the end of the day, feeling too zen to jump around. Where I have a comfort corner just to stuff information and knowledge into my overloaded little brain. Where there is a window to the world just to see there is nothing between me and the sky. Or the …

Under the Medicine and Dreaming

I can’t sleep well last night. What do you call it? Insomniac? Well, maybe I am in that state of it right now. This isn’t the first time. I have experienced similar nite before. Most of them were very tiring. Usually I keep on turning my back againt and the wall or vice versa. And I try so hard to keep my eyes closed. But, rarely it happens to me. They call me sleepyhead and I am a little proud of it. Ah, my sleep weren’t as tight as before. Couple of nites ago I remember, I was sleeping on my bed with the lights and the radio on, then woke up at about 3 am. That edge of nite. And the song played in the radio was always SecretGarden by Bruce Springsteen. Along with Dorothy’s words echoed softly in the air,
“... I love him Laurel, I love him... I love him for the man he wants to be and I love him for the man he almost is”
That melodius lyrics and the strange feeling I have in my heart. The slide show of you and shadows of your walk. The voice of your laughters and the distance between u…

A Happy Ending Demanding

For once in my life, I just want to be there.
Right in the heart of children section. I know, a fancy book store, that everytime I look at the back covers of their books, my hand will put it back on the shelves. Yup, I've seen the price tag. Regretfully.
Although I am not that wealthy enough to purchase all of their books (beside, there's no point of doing that), but I can still enjoy the services, can't I?
Because, for once in my life, I just want to be there. Surrounded by colorful books. Sitting on a comfy not too puffy carpet. And in the bliss of enjoying the sound from children running around noises. Taking books one by one from the shelves, put it on my lap and do the aaahhh-ohhhh-ahhhhh (please, do not take this as making out session) while gazing at the illustrations. Hilarious and heartwarming stories, all at once. That will set the stars in my eyes, and paint a full smile in my face.
For once in my life, I just want to be there. With you.

Not a happy ending, though.

Heavy Feet

Now, how can you leave such a beautiful place like this?
Well, is it the only thing to be grateful about? Said sadly, I could not list many things. Maybe that's the reason I have to step my feet again. This time it is not even lighter. My self, my body and my soul are torn apart to pieces. I came to pick up things left, and can not manage to bring it all. You know exactly what part would be left again.

Yup, home is where the heart is.


Well, maybe this is a certificate to let me open an official kissing lesson ;)

You're an Expert Kisser
You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettableWhat Kind of Kisser Are You?

A Letter for a Friend

Hello, Heartache. It’s been a long time since we’ve been together. That’s why I write you this letter. Last November you were with me for our quality time. Had insomniac night, bulimic our self until my pants size get smaller, and wandered in the lonely streets of the town. Maybe it was not the best time of our life, but I must say I learn a lot from it. A lot than I could handle.You taught me how to be patience, Heartache. You showed me how emotion can trigger some of physical symptoms and how we can physically suffer from our emotionally intentions. It is the thing I remember the most. I begin to familiarize my self with a thing called sadness and tears without teardrop. I still remember, how we were together in the night, the clock was ticking very slowly while you and I sit next to each other, counting every minutes before sunrise. Sometimes I was very afraid to have you near me, so I chose another companion. And you just sorted everything out, creating a new friend list. It is ho…

Amphidromic Point

Last night we talked about tide. Yup, the one I learn back then at college. Proudly to say, the professor gave me an A. And I explained happily and unstoppable about how moon and earth attract each other and resulting the movement of water mass in the world. The force is greater as the distance becomes closer. You need parties here, the moon and the earth. How they evolve around each other, lighten by the sun and become one universe. At some point and some time we have flood tide or ebb tide. And at some extreme points, there are neap tide and spring tide. Ah, you don’t want to know the details here. Although, I will explain it with a great excitement if you ask. My pleasure.
This is interesting, ya? The idea of the earth and the moon attract each other gave me a wishful thinking. This is analogically how we affect each other. I touched someone and he reached for mine and together we create a universe. Altogether with twinkling stars and softy doff orange sun. I don’t mind if you corre…

Swing Away from Banda Aceh

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words
We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow
I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cr…

Over Excited Mint Car Mode - on

This is the song of falling in love.
It always knows how to steal my gloomy mood away.
I will be singing and dancing and laughing and having this twinkles in my eyes.
Ah, you know me. Had those days in three months, piled up in the same office space, you must be the witness of my mint car over excited mood.
Still, the best memories of this song is when we were holding our hands, walking down the Gatot Subroto road, watched by the sun who set in and I sing it out loud.
“The sun is up I’m so happy I could scream!!”
La di da di da…
“Vanilla smile and gorgeous strawberry kiss…” Smile at you, dahling.
And you stared at me while falsing the notes “Say it will always be like this, the two of us together..”
The exact favorite part of mine.This is the song of falling in love. Let it stay in that way. Let me stay in that way with you.
Happy 8, Rawky. Let us stay in this way, intentionally and emotionally.

Casa Caia

It’s been a week.I’ve been far away from the land I’ve been born for more than a week. Well, if this is what I wanted for so long, I really shouldn’t complain.
I’ve been working in a field for five days. Caia. I wonder what it would be like at the first place? Is it windy and dusty and all that? Does the sun strike hot or does it rain all the time? I am here for support flood victims, so I should consider the water aspect. And the most twinkling question, what will I learn as soon as I get there?But, now as I am here, hopefully I am well enough to read the world.And I am speechless. I am trying hard to read everything and with less time I have here, the words just wouldn’t come out fluently. Thank God, I had this lovely camera with me. They say, pictures can paint thousand words. Hopefully it will work this time. Just to share.Cross the river, cross the flood, cross the culture
Pulang nyalonNite picnic under Luna LlenaThen, why can’t I paint you? Here with me…

Two Kinds

We’re the two of two kindsOne day, we manage to have a trip together to our hometown. At the train station we met. And on our physical appearances, you can tell the different by looking at a glance. She is pretty much of a girly type, I guess. She wore pedal pusher pants and a simple t-shirt, with a brand written on its front that will set your mind to girly stuffs. A flat beautiful ballet shoes and a leather handbag suited her outfit. When she saw me, she gave a comment directly “Oh boy, you are sooo backpackers.” While I didn’t bring any backpack at all. It was just me, with my too-big-to-be-true-stroller travel bag, my kiss-don’t-kill black t-shirt, my boot cut jeans, my bright green armpit bag and of course my blue jacket. We chatted along all the way home, just like girlfriends do. 4 hours in the train, cached up stories and some of the juicy rumors about our friends. She told me about the problems she had with her boyfriend, hopefully they’re both OK now. And I told her about th…