#kantorism

It’s been over a month or so that I’ve been under a big project. It will be over soon, and I’m still in the thick of it all, but I feel tired and broken. I made so many mistakes along the way, and I felt that I haven’t prepared enough for such a big project. For the record, I’m not a master of planning, and couple of things I didn’t anticipate beforehand. Usually such things never chickened me out. But the reason that I am very regretful today is, I was unable to nurture my kindness and compassion in a difficult time. When I look back and ask these questions: Was I kind? Did I deliver a solution? Was I supportive for my team? And I hang my head in shame, I wasn’t and didn’t. I was cranky, self-centered and was only able to see things from my perspective. I failed to understand the problems of other people. One of my goal and actually my base to maintain my sanity is, I want to be not only a skillful person but mainly a nice person to work with. I would like to be that co-worker that you’d like to hang out with for a mini coffee break, and I couldn’t remember the last time I did that. I’ve been learning to be a team member except a hero of my own, but I guess I need to learn some more. I don’t know, I might join a hockey team or something like that. I’d be happy to be a compassionate goalie.