Thursday, May 02, 2013

Illusion of the day


Of all things I learn through the midst of my life recently, I noticed that happiness is an illusion. It’s a mind trick.
Have you ever feel everything is warm and the sun is gorgeous and there’s nothing you’d rather be than the street you stroll each morning you get out of the house? I secretly think, it is something like that. But it turned out, happiness is not a sum of sunshine and good weather and the smell of magnolia.
Maybe it’s in the sun, or it’s in the snow. Maybe it’s in the spring and a little bit in the fall. Maybe it’s the time you open your eyes in the morning after a recharging straight 9-hours sleep. But maybe it’s in the morning you have hangover and drag yourself out of your bed, but nevertheless you had a nice conversation the night before.
Maybe it’s in the greenest green tea frappucino you ever have ordered.
And it’s possible that happiness sprinkles you in the middle of sun salutation. It also slips in you while you sit quietly in the class with a fascinating topic that you feel like you want to do it for the rest of your life. And it could be the read between the lines after pages of good reading in Saturday morning.
I suspect, it was also happiness when I spent hours in a little cafe in the corner, and that was not because of the kick-ass tiramisu, but rather caused by a warm conversation with the owner. But as I finished the cake, and went home did the happiness evaporate? I hold on to the feeling by imagining each sensation happened in my mouth during the digestion process.
And what else do you want to feel? Contentment and relieve? Practicing compassion and kindness?  I smile to myself, because I also want to be in love. And I don’t mind to do it in a cheesiest possible way. But, how big does it add to the sum of all equation of happiness? A half heart and less brain?
And I can go on and on listing all of things that trigger that warm and fuzzy feeling. But I must stop here to remind you again. It’s all a mind trick.  Let’s face it, life is a series of disasters . Nobody ever tell you that it’s a straight road ahead without bumps and turns and always good weather. But you’ll get there somehow. Maybe you will arrive bruised and wounded, along with smile and tears. But it’s actually more up to you to decide what to feel.
And of all the things you want to feel  along the journey, don’t you just wanna be happy?

So maybe, after all, I’ll be fine and dandy. And happy.

Best read while listening to: Hard Candy Christmas - Tracey Thorn, which originally was written by Dolly Parton. Here.

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