Monday, March 31, 2008

Shifting

By the sea, and so I am here. They say it is such a paradise. I was once in love with this land. Well, maybe I have been in love until now, but certainly based on different reasons. Let us have a little flash back.

2000, in the name of missing beach very much, I decided to have a single adventure. And it turned out that the trip was exhausting and the vacation became surf branded stuffs shopping spree. None of the adventure here. Not to mention light weight backpacking trip, my duffel bag was filled with billa bong, rip curls, souvenirs and all the things you don’t need in survival.

Had several chances to visit this land again and but still I had the same feeling. Yes, I had declared my self that I was a teenage beach girl and despite of jumping myself to the water, I kept my self dry. Not too tanned skin, and showed off with my best beach outfit, shorts and sleeveless tee. Of course with the brand printed big on them. And this land has it all. Look at the wide beach, the international crowd, the shops lined up in front and the clubs. I was in love and a little bit amazed of my self for having traveled this far. Probably it was similar with high school love. All those shiny stuffs. And I wore them proudly as I watched the sun set in. It was lovely.
2009, and look at me now. In the same land. And guess what I am doing now? Instead of showing off with big frame sunglasses, very short shorts, and tank top, I choose to be everyday me. Just a simple t-shirt, mid-length shorts and flip flops, dragged my laptop to the closest place where I can find wireless internet connection. I have been sending email, writing reports and editing some pictures in the vacation spot. I don’t feel like enjoying holiday today, silly me. At least, this is not the way I enjoy the shore line.

So, things have been changing considerately. Ouw, pardon me, this land is still the same old story. Your best destination for holiday, where it sucks out your money like vacuum cleaner in the name of tourism. But, I feel something inside of me is shifting. Funny thing is, I was not that much smitten with this land again. I don’t like the people, the crowd in the street and I feel intimidated by the surf stores popped up in every junctions. Surely strange, I didn’t know I have to let go.

As people come and go, and destination twisted, everything changes. We might be a better person for being back, now and then. It is not the matter of the place where we stay, but it is the matter of the place where we have been. So, this afternoon I was smiling while sit quietly, as if I was watching an ex boyfriend going away in his own path. A sincere let go of a precious thing in life.

I am staring away from my computer screen a little. And suddenly I am seeing an orangish scene. Oh boy, it must be the magical sun. She is settling in. So, in a minute I will turn off my computer and autistically do the thing I love the most. Watching the sun set in. I have been in love with this kind of activity. No matter how distant I have traveled or whoever I might meet up along the way.

As people come and go, destination twisted, and everything changes, there must something left to stay at the exact space. Constantly reside here and dissolving in my soul. The biggest part of me, at all times.







And how I wish you continuosly are, lover.


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