Comparative Study on 2010

Cimaja, 1st January 2011
Right. The new year day.

Last year, on the new year eve, right in the 6th floor of a dorm room in insignificant town called Karsluhe, I managed to compose a long summary note of 2009. Some people commented that the note was earthy, positive and beautiful. Thank you, for the compliments. This year, seriously, I don’t know what to write in terms of quality. But I have to force my self anyway, new year’s not only good for throwing fireworks, it’s also a good point to do some rewind.

Okay right, 2010. What’s on 2010? It’s kinda hard to make a review of 2010 without comparing it with 2009. If I haven’t live my life the way I was in 2009, maybe I would say 2010 was just another year, full with ups and downs, tide and ebb. People fell in and out of love, moved in and out of town or hang on. But in 2010 I doubted everything that life has offered me. Beforehand, I have had the year full of hard works vs. parties, grounded doing homework vs. intense traveling during holiday, breaking up vs. making up, and all that. Then it’s not overrated to say that for the upcoming year, I want the best in life as I don’t opt for mediocre one. But hey ladies, you better be watch out for over expectations.

Immediately after I finished my student life and a little trip where I fell in love with Ghent in the early 2010, I returned home and ready to face the world with such energy. Then what’s next? Nothing but a stagnant life led to a constant boredom. I’m ready to take a big leap, move somewhere far, being in an emergency, but hey chill out girl. Let’s just stay home, eat home made food and have plenty of sleep. Go get yourself a husband or wife then you can enjoy life even more. Or might be a house and a fancy car. And right there, I fell apart. I miss my 2009.

I said that 2009 was the year of learning, then supposedly in the year of 2010 I get the degree with flying marks and live happily ever after. Get a decent job that pays me well, or get married as an option. But life is designed with surprisingly twisted ending and so in 2010 I ended up with so many questions about life.

Why didn’t Billy Corgan play Cherub Rock for encore? Why on earth that I am home but can’t do what I want to do? Why the South-East Asian backpacking trip only last 3 weeks while it should have been 3 months!? Why UNEP of Kenya didn’t send me any news after the interview? Why, I declared my self as a super-tropical girl but then I miss the snow? Why Jakarta sucks but surprisingly I feel home in it? Why do I love Ron Weasley? Why do people go crazy Red and White over football and I was mooned over One Day? Why do people break people’s heart? Why aren’t you here with me tonight?

I wish there were some kind of life professor who I can turn to each time these questions pop up in my head. Or at least (s)he can give me a list of references which I can refer to. Or download and save it in my gadget, then feel save with having it though never read it anyway. Oh pardon, this scholar’s habit in me.

So I strolled days of the year, wondered and sometimes frown. Thinking back 2010, I was reunited again with people in my inner circle. Family, ten of us, the girls, elementary school mates, high-school buddies, ex-boyfriends, ex co-workers and people that have been wondering, where in the world am I? Crossing path again with them chained me up to the ground. Sharing laughter with them didn’t directly solve my problem, but surely charged me up bit by bit and realize that we are human after all. Human being that sometimes wants to do so much but God limits and in the end we can just sit back and enjoy the show.

The questions left unanswered, but as the year approached to an end I’m trying to walk the walk with chin up. I decided to have faith on my self and the life ahead in 2011. I believe in a good will. Additionally, good things which always turn to an end are indeed making an enter way to another good things. And as New Radicals said, someday we’ll know, someday I’ll know the answer of these questions with or without having to take PhD course.

And for those of you whose hearts have been badly broken and beaten up in 2010, don’t worry. I’ve been there, in and out, back and forth and I have learnt that heart grows. Even bigger, even stronger.
Welcome to the year 2011.

Note: The picture above was sunset at Halong Bay, not Cimaja. Hanoi trips was one of the few best moments of 2010.

1 comment:

qq said...

Happy New Year Dita!!!

So happy to read your blog again and indeed this is one of my favorite posts. I do have questions in my life, even feel desperate about it, but hey, life happens! Enjoy the show.

I hope this year is better for all of us. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up :)

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