Earth Exploration

It’s been more than a month, and life never stops mesmerizing me as it unfolds its mysteries. Layers by layers and still there are many more. It is earth sciences that I am studying here, and although I have been breathing its air since the day I were born, still a lot of thing to discover. I stared and amazed seeing the abundant of minerals we have in earth and more amazed by the way people dig them. Aside from academic things, daily life loaded me in prosperously. From the phenomenon of 90 degrees sun rise and set, to the way we save its light by turning back the clock one hour. I watched the leaves gradually changed their color from day to day and suddenly one day they are all gone. Leaving a brown trunk and skinny twigs to have time for their own. Mother Nature always works in its wonderful ways. And still, each way is gorgeous.
New places always captivated me. And new person, is another way to grow a new brain inside my head. I usually eagerly tell a lot of tales of my self, and in return, curiously asked question about their self. What is it inside their head? Whose name printed in their heart? I try so listen to their symphony and empathy for the war in their home country. I look at their eyes and there I see other windows of the world. A new world, is waiting to discover.

You are so much to explore!

Sky has no limit

Some places have the exceptional beautiful sky. Whether it is clearly blue, unique form of clouds or the height that creates illuminative wide space. I didn’t realize this until I move on from Bandung, almost 4 years ago. Bandung sky is good, although it often is rather gloomy. But after the rain falls, it becomes a transparant white paper like and sunlight warms you up. 

Banda Aceh sky is one of the greatest. Although it is accompanied by the hot striking sun and in the day time it is preferably to chill under the roof. But I never forget the time I went home after long hours at the office. The sky usually turn to a mix of orange, purple and pink. All bright. A lovely combination with its elegant green hills. It was always enjoyable to walk on the street, waiting for labi-labi to come, gaze at the sky and think about the warm house at the end of the day. And, nothing can beat the enthusiasm feeling before a hot date for the night. *wink wink*

One of the hypnoticious sky I have ever seen is Jayapura sky. And in general, Jayapura landscape is top of the pop. No one would ever deny this. The color is blue, vividly clear blue, and the clouds always paint a perfect picture. It is the same case with African sky. What captivated me is the height. Yup, although it is scientifically true that atmosphere forms a ball around the earth (that means equal), I can’t help but notice that Jayapura sky is higher than average. It seems the sky has no top boundaries and there is nothing between you and the universe.

It makes me grateful and glad. I can gaze to infinitely blue sky and dream almost about everything.
If the sky has no limit, why should you limit your dreams?

Picnic in the park

We're gonna have a picnic in the park.
You, and me, and all the people we love.
We're gonna have ginger ale or temulawak or anything you like.
I will walk on the sidewalk and you will hold my hand.
We're gonna stop by the ice cream parlor and taste the rum raisin flavor.
You will see a decent house and dream we are the oma opa who had the tea.
I stop by at the window of pizza restaurant and pretend we order margerita.
You stop as well, and steal a kiss.

And this is what I mean about I like to dream big.

Looking at the same moon, connecting by the same wire.

It was this morning on the u fm. The announcer interviewed her friend, and then played this song accordingly.
Ah, it was still 8 o’clock in the morning, and I was in a rush to go to the office. I put on a new dress an I thought the lyrics is quite cheezy. Yes, I have been through it all, and I believe I am so much stronger now. But the tears can’t help but showed.
…

We'll be wishing on the same star / Looking at the same moon
When you're thinking of me, baby / I'll be thinking of you
And no matter where I go /I will be there with you
Wishing on the same star / Lookin at the same moon

It's not really over / Baby, it will never be
Long as you keep me in your heart / I'll be there anywhere you are
And when you feel sad / Remember all the love we shared
And when you're feelin alone / Well, just look up in the sky
Oh, and baby, so will I
...

Wishing on a Same Star - Myra

I can not believe I will do this all over again *sob*

10 Commands

10 most desirable items at the moments:

1. Juno handheld GPS from Trimble. Love the yellow, love the design and love how it fits in my hand purrfectly.
2. White Nintendo DS Light stuffed with sequels of Dinner Dash, all brain teaser and yoga games.
3. Newly two front teeth.
4. SIGMA 18-200mm lens with Optical Stabilizer for Canon. I’m drooling to wet to have this.
5. Simple clean and plain white t-shirt.
6. Pairs of long john, or, regarding my body size, should we name it short john?
7. Red Karrimor 35ltr ladies rucsack.
8. 5 star hotel voucher for strike 3 nights. Swimming pool facility is a must.
9. Sets of Wayang Kulit. Pandawa Lima preferably.
10. Another pre-honeymooners trip to exotic beaches.

Now, looking at the list above, no wonder if I would get stacks of white t-shirt for the birthday.
Although books, notebooks and cds are always welcome as well. Also Gundams, Doraemon thingy, and another pairs of Tevas.
Oh well, have a nice day.

Time Machine

If Doraemon were kind enough to lend me his time machine, I would probably directly go to Nobita’s room and hopped on his drawer for the journey. And if Doraemon asked me which of my age I want to revisit, the first thing comes up in my mind is when I was 17.

Oh boy, as a teenage high school girl, life was simply wonderful. Nothing much to worry about, even on a physical appearance. I was more focus on my dream job as a graphic designer, so I did a lot of drawing and designing. Posters, album cover, t-shirt, anything that needed a little touch of art. As an addition music has always been a big part of my life, and in high school it was all about Napalm Death, Shelter, Bad Religion, Ramones (well, actually I still listen to them until now, punk music has strangely set a place in my heart), Biohazard, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and a big, no, a HUGE fans of PAS band. I was pretty stand up for this matter, as I always mocked Backstreet as boys who got no dick. The good thing about being 17 years freak, I didn’t think too much about the things I wanted to do and the action I would take. For instance, if I like a guy, then I’d just fall for him. If I want to be a drummer, I‘d straightly set up a music band and played with tom tom. Yes, I did everything based on courage, curiosity and craving for experiences.

But along this journey I though about the year in my life when life was superb, then suddenly 27 popped up in mind. When I was 27, I must have said, life was a grant. It was the year I decided to leave my life in Bandung and start a new one in Banda Aceh. And I was pretty impressed that I was doing it in a good way. Great, actually. I’ve written down some of it here.

It was about one of the greatest job I’ve ever had. And nope, it was not graphic designer, my teenage life obsession. In short way, I do maps, and I never thought mapping could be this exciting. Or, maybe it was about the organization I worked for. In the name of humanity, wasn’t it very motivational? But really, one of the greatest moments at 27 aged was when I had to map all the houses in several villages affected by tsunami. Seeing all the smiles, friendly welcome and become a part of the community replaced all exhausted feeling after walking around the village all day long, under a hot striking sun. Oh yeah, I had my skin dark tanned.

After those long working hours outdoor, I got the chance to join one of the largest humanitarian organization and to my surprise, I have been holding on for more than one year on the position. Which means, yeah I love my job. I still do mapping, and such things, and in addition they flew me up to Africa.

It was about the warmest house I’ve ever had. You might have read it here.

It was about the wonderful landscape. The elegant greenish hill, the purple sky during sunset, the ever bluest and highest sky, the comfy modest village and of course one of the most beachscape I have experienced in my life. Growing up in a one of Indonesia big city, I have never been passionate about nature before. But living in this vivid beautiful city, and witnessing the view everyday, I am pretty sure that human can never live far from its mother nature.

It was about the challenge to live on my own. I went to Banda Aceh with no clues about relatives or friends who lived in the city, but through out the year I think I successfully add the list of contacts. I met great people there. To begin with, I met this inspirational lady who tagged me to write this long. My ex boss who taught me a lot, not only technical things at work, but also essential things in life. A big sista who never fails to counter my point of view and got me into a deep thinking. My soul mate and our running away from reality trips. And last but not least, my rock star as a partner to step together into our dreams. It is always good to know that you never walk alone.

Copycatting her I will write like this:
Alue Blang 3. Sunrise. Humanitarian world. Neusu. Bike riding. Lamsenia. East coast. West coast. Sanger. Ajun Jeumpit 18B. Cows. Sunset. Jasa Ayah. Woman in mission to Mozambique. Pop corn aka borondong. Lampuu beach. Lamno and its magnificent Grue Tee. Indomie + tea + sunset (again). Seubon Ayon village. Jl Langgar. Partner to talk about everything. Lueng Bata. Training in Bangkok. My rock star. And another struggle in Jakarta.
Oh boy, 27 has offered me so much in life.

From all of the post I have read, I conclude one thing. Moving out, no matter how comfortable your place right now was, has always been a turning point of life. It is one of the physical things that influence us emotionally. It is a good way to restart your life, change your identity as you want it to be and be a better you. As you stand up by yourself and putting back the past that shape you before. Not to forget it, but to filter it, bring along the positive vibe to the road ahead. Transform yourself into a massive shape.

Now dear Doraemon, if you kindly ask me which of the years, can I do a little correction? Probably I would love to go before 27. To start the transformation sooner.

Gravity and Fall

Heart of Me - Carpark North

You always take the heart of me
and leave it there it stays to be
what is it for? do you want more?

it takes a while to grasp on to
the softness of a heart anew
what is it for? why did you wrong me?

in the bus I fall all the time
my feet give up and gravity is mine
I throw myselfn from anything that's tall
and fall

I want to live and learn to love
and you're the one I put above
but what is it for? could there be more?

in the bus I fall all the time
my feet give up and gravity is mine
I throw myself
from stairs and trains
from trees and planes
as long as I can fall

So, it would be a day with this song, played over and over again.
Or, it would be you, who come over and over again.
And I, would do nothing but fall over and over again.
I guess, gravity, and your charm, casted their spell on me, again.

Miles

Can I say, I miss you?
Is the phrase outplaced or should be edited?
And, if I say this mouth of glass tasted similar with your mouth, will you think I’m insane?

And It’s always times like this I think of you and wonder if you ever think of me.
Do you remember the lines? Aha, we once sang the melody together, didn’t we?
I bet you know the lyrics that followed.
‘Cause everything’s so wrong, and I don’t belong living in your precious memories.

Ouch, this thousand miles is killing me. Although after thousand miles you’ll be home.
And I wish silently in my heart, that I would be a part of it.

Or, maybe a port would do.

This beautiful

A left note from last holiday. Wrote down on my cell phone note feature and decided to share it with you.

Pulau Lengkuas, May 2008
The Belitung trip is almost over. Tomorrow we will packed our backpacks and leave the island behind.
He is lying down beside me while I’m sitting cross-legged and continuously staring at the endless turquoise ocean. The wind breeze is slowly caressing my over-tanned skin and I don’t even care if my hair is such a mess.
This is one of the idyllic scenes, too good to be true. A stunning place, a great companion and a constant uplifting mood. That’s why I want to ripped of the scene from the place, glue it onto my scrapbooks and take it with me whenever I go. A piece of something real as a grant of your dreams. A point of view of hope, sometimes in your life, your day can turn out to be this beautiful.

On the positive side

I really am mesmerized by the way my friends jumped up in their path of life. Let’s say, me and Lioni were together at high school time. And who might guess one day Lioni had this opportunity to experience India? Or, I might go to Jayapura? Or a friend could have an adventure roaming around Java island?

Oh, I am really damn proud of what my friends are doing out there. Some of them stumble upon pebbles and amazingly stand up. Some of them reached over milestones in a rapid speed and some walked a little by little but get there in time. Some of them are always by my side physically and some are only bad and good news come and go. But, wherever they are, and whatever they are doing now, they have touched my heart and leave footprints in it. As I watched everyting that passing by in my life and trying hard to captured every moments, I smiled. Dearest fellas, you have been given such a never ending passion and nevertheless, inspiration. And quoting her on one of a ride home, looking at my self and mirroring to her side, she believes that many great things happen in life, and more to come. Oh, isn’t life great?

Elephants Walk

Trip to Saree has always been fun. Saree is located up on the hill but from certain points of view, you can manage to see the sea. A good combination though, between green grasses of the hill, blue sky with some spot of white clouds, and ever calmest ocean. The road is curly and hilly. Lots of turning right and left, mixed with ups and downs. Yeah, similar with our life at certain stages.

First stop is Saree market. Here you can find all the good things. Various of chips wrapped up in clear plastic bags and lined up in the shelves kiosk, waiting for you to hand the seller 5000 for each. Fresh turnips are delivered from fertile ground, a bit tasteless but surely a crunchy healthy fruit. Not quite sure it can make your skin fairly white though. As if it matters anyways.

But, what I love the most about Saree trip is the elephants. Yup, if you go to Saree there is one big fat chance to see elephant walks down the street. Of course, it is accompanied by its master and sometimes vehicles to block the road. Of course the vehicles are more for the other street user rather than the elephants.

To see an elephant walk is such an inspiring experience. They are big (yes, I know they are elephants), bold and massive. They sophisticatedly step their feet and wiggle their muscles. The way their swing their hips from side to side is deliberate but obviously certain. I can see courage and confidence here. Seems like there is nothing can block them in the way. Nothing can fear them, but that doesn’t mean they are proud and loud. Look deeply into their eyes and you will see sincerity shine from them. A perfect combination to allure you to hop on their back or just walk by their side to experience their journey. An open invitation from their sexy charm.

It makes me think about us, human. Is there something in the way we walk? Do we walk proud or sheepishly take small steps? Are we comfortable with our given appearances? Or do we represent our true self in every touch with the ground? A silly question sometimes pops in my head, what is it in the way we walk that attracts people around us? Well, elephants, are you answering?

Confidence is the sexiest charm one can ever have.
And I, gladly been cast spel of it.

Will upload the pictures of elephant in Saree. For the time being, please enjoy the picture my little elephant, Lola. She doesn’t do a lot of walking and like to spend most her time for sleeping or playing hide and seek. Just like me.

The Sundays Inn

It is located right in front of ever calmest blue turquoise sea. Coastline of Indonesia, of course, where in the world could you have such beautiful beachscape rather in Indonesia?
I usually wake up a little late and open the curtain that temporary hides the sunlight penetrating in. Then I fold my sarong while wait for the water in a kettle boiled up.
The good thing here is always a cup of tea, first thing in the morning. Or anywhere is. But it is marvelous here, because I can enjoy it on the porch while gazing at endless blue water. Sometimes a friend or a lover accompanies me with a light chit chat. Daily news paper or a book sometimes does as well.

where's the harm in voicing a doubt
you'll find me in the lavatory

The next good thing here is jumping into the water. You can do it all day. Even all night. That is if you are afraid of the sunburn. But why would you afraid of the sun anyway? The sun is the major source of living energy on earth. Everything evolves around the sun not the other way around.

so they rode out west to the seaside
and they gladly decided to stay
after two hours wandering outside
ooh the sea air drove them away, yeah

The best thing in the day is crawling back to your cribs and having short nap. Surely you are exhaustedly tired after a long day in the water. Besides, it gives you soothing effect that makes you nodding of easily.

and what is so wrong with voicing a doubt when I'm on my own
it's perfectly fine to sleep in a chair
from Monday 'til Saturday
and what is so wrong with talking out loud when I'm all alone

The best thing in the night is lying on your sarong on white sand and gazing at the sky. The vast pitch dark sky is a huge contrast to the stars. You can see them glowing, I mean really shine, in the night. Nope, not a single significant contribution from artificial lights here.

what's so wrong with reading my stars
when I'll be in the lavatory
and what is so wrong with counting the cars when I'm all alone

The next best things are the dream pop music they play, the couch in the living room, your room with a view, the breeze in the coconut trees, free flow of internet connection, the friendly hello, your flip flops, your swimsuit and the beer.

All the best are here, in the Sundays Inn.
Or in my vivid imagination.

you're not the only one that I know
and I'm too proud to talk to you anyway

You’re Not the Only One I Know – The Sundays

Stars in His Eyes

Boy: “How do you know he loves you?”
Girl: “I just knew. He has stars in his eyes everytime he looks at me”
Boy: “I see.”
Girl: “I can not lie. You can see stars in my eyes if I am a bit too excited. About something. Or someone.”
Boy: “Yeah, I see it everytime you talk about works.”
Girl: “You did?”
Boy: “Yeah, it is obvious. And do you stars when I look at you?”
Girl: “No.”
Boy: “No?”
Girl: “I see a rainbow.”

My Present

’m not good at picking gifts or throwing surprises for birthdays. So friends, short text messages or a big smile accompanying sentence “Happy Birthday!” were all you get. And please noted that it was the most sincere wishes from me. At birthday parties, I like to sing the song loud in different languages. People will think I am crazy but as usual I don’t care.
But I do care about you. Although I woke you up in the middle of the night, popped up in front of your door and instead of singing multilingual happy birthday, I gave you my big grin “Happy Birthday!” It was not that I don’t care because I forgot to buy candles and instead of birthday cake, I bought you donuts. And maybe you call me crazy because after we finished the donuts I sing happy birthday in Spain, Mandarin and Sundanese. Then fell asleep as soon as possible.

I don’t know. I couldn’t think of a better idea. And you might called me naïve and selfish because my idea of greatest birthday present is my presence.

Happy birthday, Lovey. You are my heaven berry, my tira-miss-u always, my sunset sun and my cup of hot tea first thing in the morning.

I want you in my window

I want you in my window
I want your big blue dramatic sky and spotted of white clouds
I want your gradually purple-pinkish color at the end of the day
I want your family reunion atmosphere soflty hugged me and lullabying me until sleep
I want your twinnings blackcurrant tea accompanying me first thing in the morning
I want your weekend rendezvous in between coffeeshop hopping
I want your perfect mix of coffee befriended with spiderman cake
I want your ever so beautiful sunset in ever so beautiful beachscape
I want your cows crowding the street I need to walk on
I want your friendly hello shouted loud from all over the compound
I want you popped up in my computer screen asking me where I have been
I want you popped up in front of me, stand tall and still
I want your eyes looking at me directly without glass within
I want you in my window

Catatan kecil dari Banda Aceh

Supposedly Stupid

Taken from old post:
When you slowly stroke my hair, and I unconsciously pretended nothing happened, I knew it. This was unregretful spontaneous things I want to have back then. And when we were facing each other, I knew it. This was the missing emotion I should have back then. The young adult woman’s feeling written literally in teenlits genre novels. So eager to explore and and not afraid to try anything. To fall gracefully in love and not ashamed to cry over a heartache.

Shoud I repeat the sentence once again?
To fall gracefully in love and not ashamed to cry over a heartache.

Ah, I’m so loving young adult fiction. But there are times and places for all those things. As of now, I should stick with what I have been going through. Starting each day with a smile, and be glad to overcome obstacles. Supposedly.

The Girl Who Fell in Love with the Sea

So I’ve been too much in love with you. It has been giving me a sense of dizziness in my head. And everywhere I turn too, I search for the blue. Could it be in somebody’s eyes or in the color of afternoon sky? Should I look you up on the travel magazine or national geographic ocean edition?

I feel lost in the city. As the previous story, I just want to be by your side. Kiss you on your salty lips, and treasuring the way you caressing my skin. Feel the warmth of the sun above you, as I swing my body from side to side.

The trip have ensured the feeling in my heart. This could not have been a mistake, for loving you this big. Not a mistake at all, at the moment we met eye to eye, and you hugged me with your open arms. Oh, how I love the blue in you, as well as your orangish sun. And didn’t we have fun, doing nothing as we sit next to each other? Me and my blue stripes beach towel, you were all calm and chill. Talked nothing and quiet still. What was wrong here? It was the presence that simply matters.

I’ve been too much in love with you. Or, is it just as much as an infatuation?

Here

And there's nowhere else I'd rather be.
To be hypnotized by its beauty.
Unless it is your eyes.
Or the shadow of your walk.

Carpenter Addict

Long ago, and, oh so far away
I fell in love with you
Before the second show
Your guitar, it sounds so sweet and clear
But you're not really here
It's just the radio

Don't you remember you told me
You loved me baby?
You said you'd be coming back
This way again baby
Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh, baby
I love you, I really do

Loneliness is such a sad affair
And I can hardly wait
To be with you again
What to say, to make you come again?
Come back to me again
And play your sad guitar

Superstar – Sonic Youth OST Juno (cover version of Carpenter)

I’ve been madly in love with the Carpenters. Maybe simply because the melody and the spontaneous lyrics. Or maybe because the hairstyles. Will stuff the songs into my MP3 player, so I can listen to them over and over. Whenever I intend to or feel like echoing the rhythm in my brain. Anywhere is.
By the sea will be perfect. By your side, wouldn’t it be overrated?

*menghitung jam menuju garis pantai berikutnya

Anyone Else But You

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You know I amazed by the scene when the girl grabbed her guitar and rode her bicycle along the road. The boy is ready with his guitar on his lap then they were playing the guitar while singing the song. Not perfectly, but beautifully still. You know I like the way they met at the porch and the sun is shining on the girl’s face. And you know I instantly smitten by the song. I know by the way you smiled, that you know her bicycle is the next thing on my wish list.

What you don’t know is, having my belly bloated up like the girl, is also in my wish list.
And another thing, there was another scene that amazed me.

The girl: “I think I’m in love with you. You're like... the coolest person I've ever met and you don't even have to try.
The boy: “I try really hard actually.”

Yup, I wish I had this kind of courage to come up to you and said it aimlessly like the girl did.
Instead of writing the words down on blog like this.

You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Anyone Else But You – Moldy Peaches
OST Juno

Pen Pal

Pen pals. Yup, I know nowadays people use email, facsimile and they even use their cell phones as their life partner for communicating. Not only short messages, but also love letters. Recently, I haven’t been doing any post mail activities except for work related, but I was a teenager on early nineties, so this post mail activities were part of my world back then. A big part. It was an on and off hobbies. Sometimes I have 10 pen pals at the same times, sometimes it was one or two pen pals that actively sending mails back and forth.

One of the most memorable one was Wawan. He was a guy from East Nusa Tenggara who did fencing, he was an athlete and worship rock music at the same time. That was our something in common. The music part, of course, back then I even could not run properly. We shared stories about music a whole lot. He liked Dream Theatre, while I craved for Bon Jovi. We both liked Nirvana. And we both hated Tommy J Pisa. And the list went countless.
It was really exciting, the way we shared stories. I didn’t have many male pen pals, and girls rarely understood Yngwie Malmsteen. So, I always waited for a letter from him. I waited for our next discussion about the happening rock band, as well as his juicy love stories. He had a girlfriend who lived in Jakarta, while I was hopelessly in love with my junior high school crush.

I remember, I always had this fantasy about visiting his town, meet him eye to eye and then we would go on and on talking about music industry or the next rock gigs we were craving to mosh in. Probably he would tell me that he had broken up with his girlfriend and I would still be that naïve girl who was too much in love with her classmate. Probably we could have been skipped the love department and back to our main passion: music.
It was the hellluva fourteen years a go. And today, I am standing in the land of his town which he always wrote stylishly as Qoe-Punk. I strolled along a street and looked at a name written on the sign: W.J. Lalamentik, then I remember this as a street I used to write on the front of the envelopes addressed to him. I try to track down on how I imagined the city would be. Was it the picture of dusty and grayish scenery? Or was it the beautiful shoreline and greenish lontar trees? Too bad, this probably written in bad sector memories. But the experienced I had today answered a little bit of my curiosity.

Of course it was too hard to track him back, even in his hometown. He might get married already, have three children and live outside of this town. But certainly I bear him in mind, physically from the picture he sent me. More ever, the content has been existing in my mind; the stories we shared and the dreams we had. I remember a girl who always wrote eagerly explained everything from her point of view. I memorize who I once was, and gratefully smiled to be the girl I am now.

Shifting

By the sea, and so I am here. They say it is such a paradise. I was once in love with this land. Well, maybe I have been in love until now, but certainly based on different reasons. Let us have a little flash back.

2000, in the name of missing beach very much, I decided to have a single adventure. And it turned out that the trip was exhausting and the vacation became surf branded stuffs shopping spree. None of the adventure here. Not to mention light weight backpacking trip, my duffel bag was filled with billa bong, rip curls, souvenirs and all the things you don’t need in survival.

Had several chances to visit this land again and but still I had the same feeling. Yes, I had declared my self that I was a teenage beach girl and despite of jumping myself to the water, I kept my self dry. Not too tanned skin, and showed off with my best beach outfit, shorts and sleeveless tee. Of course with the brand printed big on them. And this land has it all. Look at the wide beach, the international crowd, the shops lined up in front and the clubs. I was in love and a little bit amazed of my self for having traveled this far. Probably it was similar with high school love. All those shiny stuffs. And I wore them proudly as I watched the sun set in. It was lovely.
2009, and look at me now. In the same land. And guess what I am doing now? Instead of showing off with big frame sunglasses, very short shorts, and tank top, I choose to be everyday me. Just a simple t-shirt, mid-length shorts and flip flops, dragged my laptop to the closest place where I can find wireless internet connection. I have been sending email, writing reports and editing some pictures in the vacation spot. I don’t feel like enjoying holiday today, silly me. At least, this is not the way I enjoy the shore line.

So, things have been changing considerately. Ouw, pardon me, this land is still the same old story. Your best destination for holiday, where it sucks out your money like vacuum cleaner in the name of tourism. But, I feel something inside of me is shifting. Funny thing is, I was not that much smitten with this land again. I don’t like the people, the crowd in the street and I feel intimidated by the surf stores popped up in every junctions. Surely strange, I didn’t know I have to let go.

As people come and go, and destination twisted, everything changes. We might be a better person for being back, now and then. It is not the matter of the place where we stay, but it is the matter of the place where we have been. So, this afternoon I was smiling while sit quietly, as if I was watching an ex boyfriend going away in his own path. A sincere let go of a precious thing in life.

I am staring away from my computer screen a little. And suddenly I am seeing an orangish scene. Oh boy, it must be the magical sun. She is settling in. So, in a minute I will turn off my computer and autistically do the thing I love the most. Watching the sun set in. I have been in love with this kind of activity. No matter how distant I have traveled or whoever I might meet up along the way.

As people come and go, destination twisted, and everything changes, there must something left to stay at the exact space. Constantly reside here and dissolving in my soul. The biggest part of me, at all times.

And how I wish you continuosly are, lover.

City Love

I could fall in love for certain cities. I really do stupid things like that. Sometimes it is a love at first sight, and sometimes it goes like the romance in Meg Ryan movies. You know that kind of thing when boy meet girl, just friends, things happen, they hate each other, but separated made them realize that they need each other, and then there they go, kissing in front of the public in the airport. It happens between me and the city.

Let’s say, I am the girl. And the cities are boy.

The case between me and Kobe (of course this is not Kobe Bryan the handsome basketball player. And FYI I don’t fall in love for those types. Ah don’t you even care. ). Ok where was I? Yes, I fell in love with Kobe, love at first sight. The moment I step my foot on the train station and saw Panda posters all over wall, I felt the tickle. And then I went around the city. I hold my breath, and felt a bunch of warm feelings all over my heart. Physically, Kobe is perfect. Not too big (I am not into big guys), not too noisy (I lurve quiet guys), and most of all located by the sea (oh yes beach boys you all have had my heart). Iche, my friend who introduced Kobe to me, told me Kobe history. And it was overwhelming. The fact that, on 1995 Kobe hit by devastating earthquake, touched me in the heart. And looking at how strong and tall Kobe is standing now, was the moment that me realize that I was falling for the right guy. Knowing one can live through rough conditions is a guarantee that he is someone to rely on. Tough guy, turns me on.

And Meg Ryan story is what happening between me and this city. Just a second, it is too soon to reveal the name here.

The first time I look at him, ouw hell. What a mess he is. Bad boy, but not the type I can easily fell in love with. Noisy, too big with a bunch of crap. He is too loud as well. It is night time, and you can still him talking. But I have to be with him, let’s say for one year ahead, so be nice to each other please. At the first place, it was awful experiences he gave me. I didn’t feel save around him, and safety is the top of the things girl should get from a guy. So, how can’t I love him?

But time flies. As we strolled around together, he taught me many things, particularly about life. About being independent, struggling, believing in the path you’ve taken and about finding home in the heart of your closest fellas. About the safety thing, he taught me indirectly, that guys should always give girls safety feeling, but girls should be aware to her surrounding and not too dependent on guys. Well, it might be imprecise, but more or less it was the lesson I have learnt. And many more. In short, I am overwhelmed by the indirect way he guides me through life and how the two of us never gave up learning about each other.
And so, after a fight (yes we have it sometimes), I took days off outside town. But just like those romantic movies and cliché phrase: you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Sort of. I gazed at the bus window and realized, I miss Jakarta so much.

And soon, there will be scene where he and I will be kissing in front of the public at the airport. Yes, I’m going away, but for the time being I don’t mind to go home to him.